


Land of Gas and Snacks

by CaptainKat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, It's just meant to be cute and fun, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-19 14:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10641969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainKat/pseuds/CaptainKat
Summary: Dave and Terezi work at a gas station. Vriska and John stumble in one night. And then another night, and another. And another. And eventually, they're friends with the gas station attendants. And then, more than just friends. And they like it that way.





	1. Welcome to GasLand

    "Hey, Terezi, what happens if I snort Pop Rocks?"

    "You die."

    "Shit, really?"

    "No, Dave. I don't know what happens. You might die. Why don't you try it and find out?"  
  
    Dave put a finger to his lips and narrowed his eyes. He nodded slowly for a few seconds before answering. "Yeah, I think I might."

    "It's your funeral," Terezi shrugged and continued straightening the candy shelf at the front of her register. Working at GasLand was easy. Hardly anyone actually bought gas from them, because of a rumor that the gas wells have water in them, so it was mostly just stoners, teenagers, and travelers that stopped in. GasLand was right outside of town, so it wasn't really a convenient place to get snacks and garbage drinks, but they were cheap & always open. Terezi and Dave usually worked the graveyard shift anyway, so it was a double easy job, not counting the belligerent drunks and the occasional creepy weird stranger. Life at GasLand was good.

    "Will you ring these Pop Rocks out for me?" Dave leaned over the counter and plucked a bag out of the display box.

    "No," Terezi said firmly. "I refuse to be responsible if you die."

    "So you really think it'll kill me?"

    Terezi stood up, stretched, and went back around the counter. "Nah, but you can never be too safe. Plus, Latula would have no clue how to deal with the insurance and legal fees if you died in her gas station."

    "Aw, little Pyrope always lookin' out for her big sis," Dave smirked. Terezi rolled her eyes. Dave was winding up to throw some balled up receipt paper at the back of her head when the doorbell rang and two unfamiliar voices filled the small store.

    "Nic Cage is ruggedly handsome!" A tall girl with lots of long, dyed black hair stomped her foot for emphasis.

    "He's lame," the shorter, naturally black haired boy sighed.

    "You're the one who introduced me to him," the girl whined.

    "Yeah, when I was young, dumb, and lame!" The boy pulled a face at her, lifting up his top lip and crossing his eyes. The girl pouted. They went through the store, piling up junk and candies and sugary bullshit drinks. The argument about Nic Cage continued. Terezi and Dave shared a look. As far as night customers went, these two seemed relatively harmless, and good for a laugh. But what kind of people argued about Nic Cage at 3 in the morning?  
  
    The Nic Cage Debate Squad came up to the register and unceremoniously emptied the contents of their arms onto the counter. They were still bickering as they did so.

    "Hello," Terezi interrupted. The two snapped out of their bubble and smiled at her. The girl, Terezi noticed, had a tiny blue rhinestone affixed to one of her canine teeth. It looked cute on her.

    "Hi!" The boy had buck teeth, and a friendly smile. "How are you?"

    "I'm great," Terezi said, bagging their loot. "By the way," she looked at the girl, "Drew Barrymore in Charlie's Angels is infinitely more badass hot than Nic Cage."

    "Yeah, Nic Cage sucks ass," Dave agreed from somewhere behind Terezi.  
       
    "Hey, thanks!" the boy elbowed the girl. "See, Vriska? He's just not that cool!"

    "Yeah, John, the gas station attendants agree with you. Their word is God. There is no choice now but to bow my head and accept that Nic Cage is old news." She grabbed him and pulled him into a noogie. "Not!"

    "I'm afraid we can't allow such gruesome violence here in GasLand," Dave deadpanned.  
  
    Vriska let go of John, who dropped to the floor at the sudden release. "Violence? That was just playing around! I can really beat him up, if you wanna see violence."

    "Nah, that ain't necessary. Plus, I don't really care if you do. Just looks good on camera if I tell you not to," Dave said. Vriska made a face, and then shrugged. Terezi rang the last bag of candy up with a flourish, and pushed the bags full of shit towards the other two.

    "Your total is 41.30, please!" She took the cash from John, and gave him his change. Vriska gave a low whistle.

    "Nearly $50, damn. Glad you were buying tonight and not me!" She cackled. John pinched her shoulder hard, before grabbing the bags and shoving them at her. She squealed and pinched him back, taking only one of the bags. They pinched each other back and forth their whole way out the door.

    "Have a good night!" Terezi called after them, before turning to face Dave. "They were weird," she said.

    "For sure. But that John? He was pretty easy on the eyes."

    "Yeah, that girl, Vriska, she was cute. Tall girls are my type. But who buys that much garbage at this time of night?"

    "The same kind of people who argue about Nic Cage this time of night." Dave shrugged.

    "Touché," Terezi hummed. She walked back around the counter and picked up a bag of Pop Rocks. "I'll pay for these if you snort them. I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe you'll vomit, maybe you'll die, or maybe you'll sneeze purple rocks for a week. Whatever happens, I gotta fucking know."

    "Aw, fuck yeah. We're doing this, bro. We're making this happen." Dave pumped his fist.

    A bag of Pop Rocks and one half hour later, they had their answer. It made your nose hurt, it made you cry, and you probably couldn't get them all the way up your nose without shrieking and blowing them back out anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think up about a million goofy au's a week, but this one was so cute I couldn't resist! I've got lots of goofy shenanigans planned, this first chapter is just to test the waters. 
> 
> Disclaimer: please do not snort pop rocks. i never have & have no clue what it does. you may actually die. please do not. thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

    Vriska let the dice fall out of her hand, and leaned closer to the table. "Please be an 8, please be an 8," she chanted. 

    "It's not gonna be an 8," John said. The dice stopped tumbling, and Vriska groaned in disappointment. 

    "6? How am I supposed to win with a 6? Uuuuuuuugh!" 

    "Sorry Vriska, thems the breaks! Looks like I win again!" John patted her shoulder. "You'll win next time, maybe." 

    "No, I won't, because we are never playing any games ever again. Ever," Vriska told him. She flipped her hair behind her shoulders and crossed her arms: the universal sign of a bad attitude. 

    "You're such a sore loser, Vriska!" John threw his hands up in the air. "Every time I win, you get pissy." 

    "Yes, John, because I deserve to win. It's as simple as that." 

    "Pfffuck, whatever. No more games, ever," John agreed. "I don't wanna listen to you bitch next time you lose. Anyway, you owe me a slushee." 

    "Fine. You wanna go get it now?" 

    "Yeah."

    "Where from?"

    "GasLand," John answered. "They have blue raspberry and Mountain Dew. When you mix them together, it's delicious!" 

    "That's fucking disgusting," Vriska sneered. She stuck her tongue out at John, just to get her point across. "But whatever," she continued. "Let's go to GasLand to get your nasty ass slushee." 

    "Alright!" 

    "Do you want to walk there or can we take your car?" Vriska shrugged on her jacket while John tied his shoes. 

    "I can drive," John said, grabbing his keys off the hook. 

    "Good," Vriska sighed in relief. "I don't want to walk." 

    "Then maybe we will!" John laughed, opening the door. 

    "Fuck you, Egbert."  
  
\----------------------------  
    "So, I said 'Fuck you, and fuck your dog biscuits!' and then she left! Can you believe that? She left!" 

    "Karkat, you know Jade is super sensitive about her dogs. She's very protective. Even a perceived slight against her dogs will get you kicked to the curb, you idiot," Terezi lightly thumped her palm against his forehead. "Duh, Vantas! She's your girlfriend, you think you'd remember that sort of shit!" 

    "Yeah, but does she have to buy the $20 dog biscuits?" Karkat whined. He rubbed his forehead and frowned slightly at Terezi before continuing. "They're dogs! They don't know the difference between whole wheat and white grain or whatever!" 

    "Well, it's better for them, probably. Maybe whole wheat has healthy heart properties," Terezi suggested. 

    "Whatever it is, it's probably worth $20. Harley knows her shit," Dave interjected. 

    "If I bought $20 cookies she'd be so mad!" 

    "You couldn't afford $20 cookies," Terezi scoffed. 

    "I'm your manager, I make more than you! You don't know what I can and can't afford," Karkat said. He jabbed his finger at Terezi. "Even if you help your sister with the financial aspects of her job sometimes, you don't know how much I'm capable of saving!" 

    Terezi scrunched her face up and bobbled her head. "Eeeehhhh, I don't believe you, but I don't know enough about your financial situation to argue." 

    "I accept your admission of stupidity, thank you."

    "I didn't admit stupidity, I just don't have enough facts to argue my case!" 

    "Same difference, really. Now, if you will both excuse me, I have to go discuss the nuances of dog biscuits with my girlfriend, and also apologize for something I'm not entirely convinced I was wrong about," Karkat said, heading towards the door. "Don't forget to clean the ice chest out tonight, Terezi. I think there's a dead gecko frozen to the inside of the door." 

    "Yeah, yeah. I hope Harley doesn't kick your ass too bad," she replied. 

    "I hope she does," Dave called after him. Terezi snickered and turned around so she and Dave could high-five. 

    After their intricate series of high-fives, Terezi left the counter to go out and clean the ice chest. She was prying the frosty body of a gecko (Karkat had been right, much to her disgust) away from the cold metal of the door when a voice from behind interrupted her very important work. 

    "Is that a dead lizard?" Terezi recognized the voice, but couldn't place where from. She turned around and was greeted by a short, buck toothed, scruffy haired boy, and his tall, wild haired, sharp toothed companion. Today, Terezi noticed, her lipstick was the same shade of blue as the rhinestone on her tooth. 

    "It's a dead gecko, actually," Terezi answered him. "And it's very important that I peel him off this door, so that I can give him a proper burial." 

    "Really? Like, a funeral? Can I come? I have a salamander at home, her name is Casey. I'm sure I could think of some lizardy things to say at a funeral!" John was leaning towards her with excitement. Vriska was staring at him, an incredulous look on her face. 

    "Uh, no, I was just fucking with you," Terezi explained, putting her hands out and waving them, as if to fan away the idea of a gecko funeral. "But it is really important I get this thing off of here. Is there something I can help you with?" 

    Vriska raised her hand. "Can you tell me if I can have that gecko?"  
 

   "What the fuck, no? Absolutely not. Why?" Terezi's lips pulled back in a grimace, and her eyes narrowed. 

    "For my collection! My collection of dead things," Vriska enthused. Her blue eyes met Terezi's green ones, and they stared at each other for a solid minute. Terezi was trying to ascertain whether Vriska was being serious. Vriska just thought Terezi had pretty eyes, and that the green of her eyes complimented the streaks of red and teal in her shitty bottle blonde hair very nicely in a very weird way, and wanted to keep looking at her.

    When Terezi had decided that Vriska was being serious, she spoke. "I cannot give you this gecko because he will not leave this door. I think he intends to live here forever." 

    "Ahaha, I'm just fucking with you anyway. I don't want the damn dead lizard," she flashed a grin at Terezi and elbowed John. "She thought I wanted her dead lizard!" 

   "Honestly, Vriska," John said, "I know you don't have a collection of dead things, and I still kind of thought you wanted her dead lizard." 

    Terezi huffed a sigh, fluttering her bangs out of her face, and went back to her gecko removal mission, ending her conversation with the other two. Very carefully, she began to wedge it away from the door. She heard the door of the gas station ding open, and she knew the two had gone inside to pester Dave. "Good riddance," she muttered to herself. "I need to focus on this." But she was a little sad the girl hadn't stayed around to tease her a little bit more. 

    Meanwhile, inside, Dave was bouncing Raisinettes off the computer monitor and trying to catch them with his mouth. He gave a half assed wave to John and Vriska when they came in, but continued his game. 

    "You're missing almost all of them!" John said, when he had watched Dave miss three in a row. 

    "Terezi'll sweep them up when she gets back in," Dave shrugged. 

    "Aren't you capable of cleaning them up yourself?" Vriska asked. "She looks really busy with that lizard outside. She said it was very important."

    "It's a gecko," Dave said, "and yeah, I am capable of cleaning up after myself, but Terezi likes to sweep up the Raisinettes and hide them in Karkat's shit, because he always thinks they're cockroaches at first glance. I'm being considerate. A good guy." 

    "Whatever helps you sleep at night," John said. He headed over to the slushee machine and started pouring the blue raspberry slush into a huge cup. Vriska watched him, a sneer slowly creeping onto her face as she watched him pour Mountain Dew slush into the rest of the cup. 

     "Dude.... what. The. Fuck," Dave's voice came slow and soft from behind them. His mouth was dropped with disbelief and disgust. 

     "What?" John took a drink from his infamous slushee and blinked innocently at Dave. 

     "That, what you're drinking right now, is a monstrosity. Everyone knows you mix cherry with Mountain Dew. Everyone. It's like, a law."

     "It's not a law! And you don't even have to drink it, so what do you even care?" 

    "It's disgusting!"

    Terezi chose that moment to walk back in, her fingertips red from scraping at the ice and a disgruntled look on her face. "You're disgusting," she told Dave, not missing a beat.

    "He got a blue raspberry Mountain Dew slushee," Dave tattled. 

    "Is he going to pay for it?" Terezi asked. 

    "No," John said, "But Vriska is!" Vriska rolled her eyes, but nodded that she would. 

    "Then who cares, Dave!" She swatted him lightly on the back of the head. "It looks yummy, anyway. It's a pretty color. Maybe we should try one!" 

    "Thank you!" John gave Dave a pointed look. "You're just too picky! And judgemental!" 

    "I wouldn't have to be judgemental if your taste in beverages wasn't horrible," Dave muttered. John rolled his eyes and walked towards the back of the store to join Vriska while she perused the candy racks. 

     "They're kind of funny," he whispered to her. She nodded in agreement. "Do they hate us or do they think we're funny?" 

     "Well," she whispered back, "I don't think they hate us, because they talk to us like we're friends. But as long as we've been coming here, we've never seen them! That's what I think is funny." Now it was John's turn to nod and look thoughtful. 

     "I guess we could just ask," he suggested. Vriska raised an eyebrow, but didn't argue. "Maybe they're new in town and could use a couple friends! We could be their friends." 

     "They seem pretty comfortable. Too comfortable to be new in town, and way too chill about their jobs to be new at it," Vriska pointed out. 

     "They are really relaxed; they don't seem to take their job seriously at all," John agreed. "Looks like our best bet is to ask!" 

     At the counter, Dave had gone back to his Raisinette game, and Terezi was sweeping the ones he missed into a pile. They weren't talking to each other, but it was a friendly silence. They worked, in a very loose sense of the word, together quietly for a few minutes while John and Vriska browsed around. Then Terezi flicked a couple raisins at the back of Dave's head. He turned around and threw a couple at her. She threw a few more at him, and within seconds it had devolved into a war, raisins flying back and forth between the two of them like spit balls in middle school detention. 

    "Ow!" John yelped. He rubbed the back of the head and kneeled down to look at what hit him. It was a Raisinette. He picked it up and looked at it quizzically. "Where did this come from?" He looked at Vriska. She didn't answer; she was too busy watching the two blondes at the register throw candy at each other like a couple of children. John turned to look at what she was staring at. "They hit me with their candy ammo!" Vriska looked down and eyed the candy in his hand for a second before leaning over and taking it from him. "Hey," he protested, but she put a finger to her lips to hush him.

    Then, before John could react, she threw the raisin back at the attendants. It plinked off of Dave's sunglasses. "Nice shot!" John congratulated her with a fist bump. Dave and Terezi stopped pelting each other with chocolate raisins and turned their attention to the patrons of their store. 

    "Sorry," Terezi offered. 

    "I think you got chocolate on my sunglasses," Dave added. 

    "Why do you wear sunglasses to work, anyway?" John asked as he approached the register. 

    "I have light sensitivity issues," Dave folded his arms. "Plus, they look baller." John raised his eyebrows and made a face at that. 

    "Why have we never seen you guys before? We're here like three times a week," Vriska asked when she joined John at the counter. John nodded his affirmation about how frequently they visited. 

    "I dunno. We've been working the graveyard shift here together for a couple of years. Since we graduated high school," Terezi answered. "Maybe you've just always come in at the wrong time." 

    "When does the graveyard shift stop? We usually come before work," John rested his arms on the counter as he spoke, getting comfortable. 

    "Around 9 in the morning," Dave answered. "Where do you guys work?" 

    "We work at the science center uptown. Usually noon to six, so I guess that makes sense!" 

    "Why'd you start coming in after midnight, then?" Terezi was sweeping all of the raisins into a pile again, but she was still listening to the conversation.

    "You guys are the only ones open, and the best snack store in town," John held up his slushee, as if it would prove his point. Dave reached out and took the slushee, scanned it, and handed it back before John could even tell what was happening. John's mouth open and closed a couple times, and his brow was furrowed, but when he realized he had nothing to say, he shrugged and took a drink of the turquoise slush. Vriska set her candies on the counter and pushed them towards Dave so he could ring them out, but she kept an eye on Terezi. She didn't know what it was, but there was something about her that caught her attention. 

    "So what do you guys do at the science center?" Dave asked, bagging the candies. "I always liked science, especially paleontology." 

    "I work behind the scenes," John told him, looking more and more excited as he went on, "I make sure that all of our hands on activities are working smoothly, so that all of our guests get the most out of their experiences!" 

    "Sooo... like a maintenance man," Terezi said, coming to the register to join the group. She put her elbows on the counter and her chin in her hands, looking bored and interested all at once.

    "No, not like a maintenance man!" John defended himself and launched into talking about his job and the finer points of it, but Terezi's gaze drifted to Vriska; it flitted away again when she saw the other girl was looking at her. Terezi could feel her cheeks reddening a little, and mentally cursed herself. The other girl was beautiful, in a wild and mischievous way. There was a charm and allure to her whole look, from the small braids in her crazy hair to the gem on her tooth to the spider tattoo on her wrist, which Terezi noticed now had a little heart on it's ass. What was a spiders ass called, she wondered. 

    "What do you do?" Terezi broke out of her thoughts and addressed Vriska, who looked slightly startled, as if she had been deep in thought, too. Terezi remembered then that John had been speaking a moment ago, and hoped silently that she hadn't interrupted him. He didn't look pissed, so she assumed she hadn't. 

    "I give tours of the bug room, essentially," she answered. "I have a special spot in my heart for spiders, so once a week I have an interactive arachnid class, too."

    "Spiders?" Dave looked at Vriska like she had grown three heads. "That's kind of creepy." 

    "No it's not!" Vriska's eyes lit up with excitement. "They're wonderful! Each species is a little different; it's like a whole world of little eight legged friends! Except, they're not all friendly." 

    Terezi and Dave shared a look. Spiders was kind of a weird love, not that either of them was perfect. But they both worked in a gas station, so who were they to judge?

    "You guys should stop by Vriska's class sometime," John enthused. "It's really great! It's pretty general, since it's more of a one-time info-dump than it is an actual class, but she's super knowledgeable about arachnids! Plus she dresses up like a responsible adult, which is way cooler than this hoodlum look she wears everywhere else. She even owns blazers!" 

    Vriska took a deep breath, and then pulled John into a noogie. "I look fuckin' cool, always," she told him. 

    "Is nooging a regular activity between you two?" Dave gestured at them, one eyebrow visible above his sunglasses. "Twice now, we've seen you, and twice now, you've noogied him. Why?"

    "Because it's fun, that's why," Vriska said simply. She let go of John. He stumbled away from her and rubbed the top of his head, giving her a dirty look. She stuck her tongue out at him, and he pushed his nose up at her in response. She looked like she was about to launch at him when Dave clapped his hands together. 

    "No violence, remember," he chided them. The other two grumbled, but didn't argue. He continued talking. "Don't you guys have like... anywhere better to be, anyway? Not that we don't enjoy your company, it just seems weird you would spend your Saturday night in a gas station." 

    "Don't be rude, Dave," Terezi scolded. She also wondered, though, why they were sticking around so long. 

    "We think you're funny, and we don't really have anyplace better to be. We can't play games anymore because someone is a sore loser," John gave Vriska a pointed look. 

    "You'd be a sore loser, too, if you lost every time!" She stomped her foot in annoyance. 

    "No, because I'd be used to losing!"

    "No, it hurts every time," she told him. 

    "Whatever, you're so dramatic," John rolled his eyes. Dave and Terezi watched them bicker, like watching a tennis match. 

    "I bet you'd cry if you lost," Vriska sneered.

    "I bet I wouldn't," John countered. 

    "Oh yeah?"

    "Yeah! I'd bet $10 on it!"

    "Really? Rematch, then. I'll win this time, and you'll be out $10," Vriska crowed. 

    "Fine, it's on!" John snatched the bag off the counter and stomped towards the door, Vriska hot on his heels. 

    "Have a great night," Dave and Terezi called after them in unison. They looked at each other, slightly bewildered about the two that just left, but mostly amused, and in Terezi's case, enamored. 

    "Hey," Dave said, poking Terezi in the shoulder. "What'd you do with the gecko?" 

    Terezi sighed deeply and rolled her eyes. "I put it in a brown bag in the bottom of the ice chest with a couple chunks of ice. You can get it after our shift ends, you fucking freak."

    "Sweet. You're the best, Terezi," Dave affectionately ruffled her hair. 

    "I know, Dave. I know," she said, walking away from the register to pick up her raisins and plant them in Karkat's office and leaving Dave to daydream about dead geckos and dead gecko preservation methods, like what pose he would put it in to freeze it in the amber. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit longer! i'm still getting my footing as it's been a long time since i wrote anything, but hopefully this is at the very least enjoyable.


End file.
